What Would I Know
by Quarkz
Summary: ML Fluff-a-thon. Maxie problems lead to shippy situations. Overall eye rolling sappiness.
1. Package Olympics

**..:::: How.Would.I.Know ::::..**  
  
**Email:** heavy_as_empty@hotmail.com  
**Webpage:** www.sadly-beautiful.com  
  
**Mr. Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used in this story and I don't own Dark Angel, oh the harsh reality. Don't sue me or I'll sue you for suing me. Actually, do sue me; that would bring me one step closer to Gail Berman which means I could beat the unholy shit out of her. Yay.  
  
**Authors Notes:** This was going to be a serious story but it seems I am incapable of making such a thing. I tried to keep the humour as minimal as possible but I can't stop it, it's a damn curse. Oh well, this takes place in Season 1, the good season. Max and Logan forever. I'm sorry M/Aers but your shipping preference is seriously whacked. M/A never excised except for the pretending Max did for a while so how the hell can you call them a pairing. Get off the drugs. I don't know where this story is gonna go, probably the land of fairy floss fluff but I don't see what is wrong with that. The lack of M/L stories out there is depressing me so maybe I'll write a real story, just tell me what you want me to do. That was my inconspicuous beg for reviews if you missed it. :o)  
  
Ok this story takes place just after Hit a sista back. It isn't a re-do of Meow so lets just pretend that the exo is working and Max doesn't want to screw everything with 3 legs. Just 100% M/L un-called for, not needed, worthless, no purpose fluff-a-thon. I know the storyline has been done to death but hopefully I can bring something else to it. Maybe make it so bad no-one will ever use this concept again. Muhahah...ahaha...haha ok that's enough.  
  
  
**~ Chapter 1 ~  
  
--------------------------**  
  
Ah Rain.  
  
Some found it to be cleansing, refreshing, replenishing, and beautiful. Some think of it as a gift from the heavens, a sign that the big mechanical rain maker up in the sky is still working. Other's think of it as a necessity, without rain we would have no water, without water we would die or something logical of the sort. Then there was Max, she thought rain was well...just one big pain in the ass. Ok, make that a colossal pain in the ass.  
  
"Does it have to rain _all_ the god damn time?!" Max cursed under her breath, wiping away the stray tendrils of hair gluing to the sides of her face. Original Cindy chuckled at her friend's impatience and blunt hatred towards anything that annoyed her. "Boo, you just gotta keep on keepin on, this rain doesn't look like it's gonna stop anytime soon so you may as well get used to it."  
  
"But why? Why today? Why any day? Why Seattle? Why me?! Why can't the clouds scoot over to Chicago, or even better, Mexico and shower shit all over them?!" Max finished the sentence in a record breaking 4.3 seconds and let out an overly audible disgruntled sigh. Original Cindy looked over at her friend a let a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth which evidently turned into a lopsided grin when she saw the seriousness behind Max's words etched into her usually un-readable face.   
  
Max looked over at her friend, anger radiating from her eyes. "What the hell are you smirking about?" she demanded, if Cindy wasn't her boo then she would have already messed that smirk into a frown with her artistic fist but there was a thing called friendship standing in the way. Damn morals.  
  
"Sheesh Max, I just can't believe how worked up you get about things. It's not like you can't get a ladder, climb up into the sky and beat god into a chunk of badly processed meat just because it's raining. There is nothing you can do about it so you may as well get over it and get back to work unless you wanna have another thing to be pissed off about, Normal will have both our asses if we don't do minimum time today." With that said Original Cindy stood up and started walking towards Normal's desk to pick up her second delivery for the day (well it was 4:24pm after all)  
  
Max sluggishly started to stand, leaning against a few lockers for support. Picking up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, she slammed her locker with a little too much force. A few people turned around from what they where doing and looked over in Max's direction abruptly. A few daggers shot in their direction by Max sent them on their way quite quickly. Everyone that had met Max knew that if she was pissed you shouldn't mess with her. Full stop. Of course that meant if you wanted to mess with her you couldn't do it all that often. That sounded dirty. Anyway, I'm sure you got the point, Max had PMS twenty-four six. Leaving out Sunday. Sunday was her happy day.   
  
Um. Yeah.  
  
"What you got for me Normal?" Max leaned against the desk, put her hands under her chin and looked in his direction expectantly.  
  
From the dispatch area came Normal's muffled reply "Package going to Sector 5, 341 Celladoor, It's a hot run so chop chop missy miss" Without turning around he proceeded to throw the package behind him, not really caring where it landed. Max looked up from staring at the unusual stain on Normal's chair (AN: Gross), in slow motion the package whirled through the air, even attempting a backwards somersault twist with a kick. It got pretty good height, maybe 2 metres or so then it started its freefall. The rain had made Max a little big sluggish and if I didn't mention before, pissed so her reflexes weren't in tip top optimal performance. What goes up, must come down.  
  
"Heh...Ow"   
  
The package made its beautiful landing right on Max's noggin. Well I bet you didn't see that one coming readers. Max stared blankly into space, wavered a little to the left, then to the right, a little bit to the left again, and then fell backwards. The audible 'thump' that followed gave the impression that hitting the ground may have hurt a little bit.   
  
Original Cindy ran to Max's side, yelling obscenities at Normal she started to tap Max's cheeks in a vain attempt to wake her unconscious friend up. She took off her sweater and put it under Max's head, that's when she noticed how cold and clammy Max's skin was and thin sheet of sweat starting to appear on her forehead. "This isn't good" Cindy whispered to herself. Thankyou Captain obvious.  
  
"Normal?! Bring me the phone, I need to call someone!" Cindy yelled in Normal's direction, he immediately handed the receiver to her, afraid of what she might do if he didn't. She quickly punched in a few numbers. After a few dozen rings the call connected.  
  
"Hello?" came the breathless reply from the other end.  
  
"Logan? You got Original Cindy here" Cindy was a tincy-wincy little bit curious to find out why he was so out of breath but she was too worried about Max to ask stupid questions like that "...Why are you so out of breath??" Dammit.  
  
"Err...umm. I was just working out, you kinda caught me at a bad time" Logan inwardly shrugged. Smeh, that excuse would do. The 10 second pause on the other end of receiver was his queue to say something so he took the opportunity to change the subject "What's up?"  
  
"Um right. It's Max." Logan's ears pricked at the mention of Max's name, this couldn't be good. "She got hit in the head by a 10kg hot run of French baloney. It's knocked her out cold. She won't wake up, I'm really worried."  
  
"I'll be right over" Logan ended the call and scooted as fast as he could towards the exo, quickly strapping himself into the scary piece of equipment and briskly puttering towards his even scarier car. Soon enough he pulled up to Jam Pony and ran inside. He looked around the room and quickly spotted the mass of people at the dispatch desk, sure they where only 3 metres away from where he was currently standing but the guy has glasses, give him a break.  
  
"Where is she?" Logan spoke as he walked towards the desk. He looked down and spotted Max sprawled out on the floor, limbs in every which direction. Wow, didn't know she was that flexible.  
  
"Holy Crap" He quickly crouched down at her side and picked her up, the exo making constipated mechanical sounds straining under the extra weight.   
  
"Come on everyone, back to work! This is not [insert comical retort here] Bip bip bip!!" Normal yelled to his employee's. Everyone started to go back to work, no longer interested. More interested in making some money. Normal walked back to his desk and started handing out packages, assured that the situation would be taken care of by Logan, I mean, he shouldn't take responsibility, it's not like he hit her in the head, the package hit her. Geez.  
  
"Thanks for calling me Cindy, I'll take her back to my place, she probably just needs a bit of T.L.C." Logan expressed his appreciation to Cindy for calling him instead of taking care of it herself, that gave him some sort of ego inflation. "You just take care of my boo, if you don't I'm gonna beat you to death with the baloney, chair or no chair, got it?" she stared at him with the look of a deranged mental patient, the slight twitch in the corner of her mouth told Logan she was serious. He nodded and gave her a small smile, slightly worried for his life. "I...I'll get Max to call you later, ok?" Logan stuttered.  
  
"Hmm. I better get back to work before Normal fires my ass" Cindy gave him one final look and started walking out of Jam Pony with multiple packages in her hands. 'Damn she's scary' Logan thought to himself as he looked down at the armful of Max he was currently holding.  
  
As if on queue Max opened her eyes slightly and wrinkled her forehead "Logan...??"   
  
He glanced down at her face taking note of the sheen of sweat that was evident on her forehead and the large bump the size of Mt. Rainer that was starting to appear on the top of her scalp. You could have bottled his worry and sold it to street kids for a bargain price if you wanted to.  
  
"Shh, I'm gonna take you home, ok?" Logan whispered into Max's ear. She didn't reply just mumbled a soft "Hmm" and snuggled closer into his cashmere sweater. Mmm cashmere, sooo soft. Logan walked as quick as his little robotic legs would take him towards his Aztec. The rain was coming down in sheets and seems how he had parked the car an appropriate 67 metres or so away from Jam Pony's entrance running was quite a good idea.   
  
Finally he made it to the car and carefully placed Max in the front seat, strapping her in and stealing an appreciative glance at her wet t-shirt. Ok, maybe two. He jogged around to the other side of the car and started making his way back to foggle towers.  
  
--------------------------  



	2. Cocktail Pity Party

**Email:** heavy_as_empty@hotmail.com  
**Webpage**: www.sadly-beautiful.com

**Mr. Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used in this story and I don't own Dark Angel, oh the harsh reality. Don't sue me or I'll sue you for suing me. Actually, do sue me; that would bring me one step closer to Gail Berman which means I could beat the unholy shit out of her. Yay.

**Authors Notes:** Thankyou guys so much for the reviews. They seriously brightened my day. I have no idea where this story is going so I'm gonna ask a few questions: Should bump the rating up to R and throw a little bit of the wink wink nudge nudge stuff in there or keep fluffy and wholesome for as long as possible? I was asked to throw them into an elevator so I'm starting to think that may be a good idea. Any suggestions I will happily write in because lets face it there ain't much of a plot happening here.

By the way, my website is having some anal retentive issues so you are gonna have to use this one: **www.literary-nothingness.cjb.net till I change over all the files and sort out my name servers. Thankyou to everyone who emailed me about it. Now on with the story...  
  
**

~ **Chapter 2 ~**

--------------------------

By the time Logan had gotten 3 blocks away from foggle towers Max's complexion had paled considerably and she was now sweating profusely. The random mumbles and moan's escaping her lips only made Logan more worried and the more worried he got the faster he drove. By the time he had reached the underground garage of his apartment block Logan noticed the slight trembling of Max's hand.

'Shit, not right now' Logan thought as he quickly got out of the car and ran around to Max's side.

"Logan" Max mumbled, obviously disorientated. "I'm right here Max" he replied, trying to keep himself calm. He placed one hand under her legs and the other under her back then lifted her into his arms. It's when he put flesh on flesh that he noticed that she had a fever but her skin was extremely clammy. Ignoring the unlocked car he started heading towards the penthouse.

When he got to his front door he realised that juggling a dead weight X5 and trying to unlock a door was not a skill he had. Max's trembling had grown into a slight shake and she was getting hard to hang on to, well with one hand anyway. Finally after many position changes (AN: I will not make that sick) he got the door open, walking through and kicking it shut with his leg he made his way over the various empty pizza boxes littering the floor. He really must have been busy before Original Cindy called him, heh.

Carefully, he laid her down on the couch with much objection on Max's behalf. Her hand snaked around his neck and latched itself onto his hair, pulling gently with her delicate hands of steel she mumbled incoherent nothings to no-one in particular, well unless you count Logan. Feeling the wonderful tickling of his hair being ripped out by the roots, Logan reached around, grabbed her hand and tried to pry it from his beloved hair.

"Max.Let.Go." he demanded through clenched teeth. The slight pissed off tone must have made it through her foggy brain and into the registration category because she immediately let go of his hair and rolled over on the couch with a slight "Hummph".

Logan patted the back of his head where hair used to reside. Looking down at Max's hand he spotted that large clump of hair she had tightly clenched in her fist. Gently, then when she wouldn't let it go, forcefully prying it from her fingers he placed it in a conveniently placed glad bag he had sitting on the table. Maybe he could glue it back on later or something.

Ignoring the suspicious smile Max had plastered on her face Logan noticed the twitching of her limbs. Making his way into the bathroom he scooted back into the room, tryptophan in one hand and a glass of cold milk in the other. Logan has a bar fridge in his bathroom you see, I wish I had one in my bathroom, I also wouldn't mind a...ok, we are getting off topic.

"Here Max drink this" Max opened her eyes slightly and looked up at him through a squinted gaze. Logan placed a pill in between her trembling lips and then lifted the glass up to her mouth so she could take a drink. Max pursed her lips and swallowed the pill then abruptly erupted into a coughing fit. Logan immediately started to pat her back, having to wipe his eye a few times. Geez, doesn't she know you should cover your mouth when you cough. Logan mentally shook his head, her mother should have taught her better.

After a few moments of painful coughing Max finally settled, her seizures taking hold once again. "Lo...Logan, ddon't don't leave me...please." Max gazed up at him with her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, begging for him to stay. Logan titled his head to the side and gazed back at her and replied "I won't"

"You..you promise?" The uncertainty was evident in her voice, too many years of being let down didn't help Max trust all that easy, and she had to make sure.

"I promise" He gave her one of his hundred watt smiles and Max gave a twitchy smile back, it was easy to fight the seizures when she was safe. Better than being next to a toilet, she'd been there before. Assured that he would stay with her she closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into the pillow. 

After a few minutes the slight smile that graced Max's face soon faded and was quickly replaced with a look of pain. Her limbs went stiff and a small moan escaped her lips. Logan looked down at the troubled woman lying on his couch and noticed the inner battle she was fighting to control her seizures. Her face screwed itself up into a look which one could only call determination, her body not able to stifle a murmur of pain as the seizure pulsated up her spine. Her body refused to obey what she commanded and lurched forward on the couch. Losing control wasn't something Max would do easily.

Logan placed his hand on the back of her head and dragged it towards her back making lazy circles on her skin trying to calm her down. "Shhh, Max its ok, just try to relax" Under his touch Max relaxed slightly, just knowing he was there helped her emotionally more than any drug could. She murmured a slight acknowledgement of what he said and brought her hand up to capture his. The strain Logan felt on his heart took him by surprise, there was strain on other places too but let's not get into that.

He brought his hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently then laid it back down on the couch, his fingers still entwined with hers. With his other hand he tucked a stray curl behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her cheek just long enough for it to be a deliberate movement. Max unconsciously pushed her cheek into the warmth of his hand, seeking comfort then let a small smile play along her lips. Logan noticed Max's steady breathing and that the seizures had subsided a little bit. He took this moment to simply just stare at her sleeping form.

God she was beautiful.

Logan realised how lucky he was to have her in his life. Not because she was hot but because, umm...errr she was special. Yeah. Sure she could be a bitch when she wanted to be but under that sarcastic facade was a woman crying out for love. Under it all was a broken angel and Logan was the sticky tape and super glue. How peachy.

After a few moments of staring at her with a stupid grin on his face Logan realised that she couldn't possibly be comfortable where she was laying. He put his hand on her forehead and was surprised at how cold it was, with immediate worry he felt the rest of her skin, placing his hand on her arm he could feel the shivers wracking through her body. The seizures had subsided and so had the fever but now Max was cold, a little too cold for his comfort. Her clothes where still a little bit wet from their previous encounter with the rain so he decided they needed to dry off or come off. Oh the irony of it all.

He picked her up into his arms and started to walk towards the hallway, those damn pizza boxes getting in the way once again. To the left was his room, to the right was the guest room. Decisions decisions. Logan played over good cop, bad cop in his head but in a sudden burst of confidence he decided to put her in his bed, sure she might beat him in the head with a large object in the morning but until then it would be worth it.

Placing her gently onto his bed he started to take her shoes and socks off. Why he didn't do that when he put her on the couch boggles me but lets just ignore that. He stood back and stared at her, she was cold, you could see that, Logan could defiantly see that, I don't think I need to explain why.

Sensing that parts of her anatomy where being ogled at Max started to stir. "Mmm...pie. Pie...good." she licked her lips and opened her eyes meeting blue ones as she did so. "Logan...What am I doing..." She looked around his room, at her bare feet then back at him "here?"

"I thought you would be more comfortable in my bed, I was about to wake you *cough* you need to get out of those wet clothes Max, you are extremely cold, don't want you coming down with something" he replied, avoiding her eyes.

"Oh" She looked down at her clothes and plucked her wet t-shirt from her body. It was then that she realised how cold and tired she was, rubbing her hands up and down her arms she stood up and headed towards Logan's bathroom. "Is it ok if I borrow one of your shirts?" she questioned sluggishly.

"Umm. Yeah sure, go in and have a shower and I'll put one on the bench" He replied, giving her a brief smile which she returned. She ventured into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Logan stood ridged until he heard the shower turn on then started scrambling through his drawer to find an appropriate shirt. Six kilograms of shirts and a few little surprises later he found an appropriate piece of material from his college days, just small enough for Max...maybe.

Before he could stand up, open the door and throw it blindly in the direction of the bench, Max came waltzing out of the bathroom clad only in a towel, a very short towel, how short you may ask. Short. She walked over to Logan and took the shirt from his hands and then put her hand up on her forehead. "God, Feels like I was hit with a cement truck then run over by a pack of rabid cheerleaders." She massaged her temples then rubbed her arms again, obviously still cold. Fumbling for something sturdy, she sat down on the corner of the bed, afraid of losing her balance. You can imagine the awkwardness of doing that in a towel of that size.

"Why don't you get changed then go to bed, I know how tired you are Max so just sleep. You can use my bed, I'll sleep in the guest room." The compassion was evident in his voice. It wasn't like Max to be sick and he was truly worried. Aww.

Before she could even begin to disagree Logan was out the door getting her another glass of milk and some more tryptophan, she was still a little shaky and the seizures could come back full force if they didn't keep her serotonin in balance. By the time he got back Max was in his bed, sound asleep. He put the milk and pills on the bedside table and pulled the covers up to her body, making sure she wasn't cold. He stood there for a brief moment simply staring at her, he could do this all day and he would never get tired of looking at her. As broken as she thought she was she would always be perfect to him.

Max stirred slightly and reached across the empty space in the bed murmuring slightly in her sleep, her stirring soon turned into thrashing as her body tried to fight an imaginary demon. Logan was by her side immediately attempting to wake her up. She let out a loud cry then sat up, panting, staring blankly into space she attempted to catch her breath. Logan reached out for her hand and captured it in his own, squeezing it reassuringly. Max suddenly looked over at him as if she had only just noticed his presence and tried to hold back the tears stinging at her eyes.

"Shh Max its ok, it was just a nightmare, I'm here, its ok" He whispered quietly to her, trying to get her to calm down may be bad for his health. He didn't have life insurance until he met Max. To Logan's surprise Max launched herself at him and wrapped her arms tightly around his body, this is where he thought the life insurance would come in handy. He cautiously wrapped his arms around her tiny form and held her until her crying became slight sobs. 

Eons later Max retracted herself from his grip and sat with her hands in her lap embarrassed. "I'm really sorry Logan" she whispered unable to meet his worried gaze.

"Sorry for what Max? You have nothing to be sorry for. He spoke just as quietly. 

"For being...me"

--------------------------


End file.
